Sometimes, moving forward from the end of old relationships can seem difficult especially if you were surprised they ended. Whether the relationship was romantic or whether it was a friendship or connection with family, endings can be difficult. A friend of a friend has been going through a rough time recently after a relationship ended. After mourning the loss of the relationship for twice as long as the relationship actually lasted, it is definitely time for this friend to move on. We have all been there at some point. Sometimes, figuring out how to move forward can be the issue though. The heart and energy can require a ceremony to let go of the old connection. Here are two ways to let go of old relationship feelings.
#1 – The Stick Method
Take a walk in the woods to find a stick. Once you have found a stick, see the stick as a symbol of the connection you had with the other person. Break the stick and throw both pieces deep into the woods as a symbol of the end of the connection.
#2 – Forgiveness Ceremony
On the front side of a sheet of paper, write down how this other person has caused you to feel. Don’t write down specifics of what they did, but write down how you felt. On the back side of a paper write down at least a couple good things about the other person or good things they have done. After writing both sides, write on each side: “I forgive you. I release you. I send you love and light. I forgive myself. I release myself. I love myself.”
Gather two candles, a lighter or matches, and go to a place where you can privately burn this paper such as a fire pit, empty clay pot outside, or a fireplace. Don’t burn the paper just yet. First, ask God (or the universe) to wrap you and the other person in healing and protective light. As you light the first candle, say “I light this candle for the light of (fill the blank with the name of the other person).” As you light the second candle, “I light this candle for my light.”
Next, ask “Angel of mine: please protect and guide me as I call in the soul of (other person)” and say that 3 times. Say “Soul of (other person), please come” three times.
Take some deep breathes. Speak from the heart, and read both side of the letter you wrote aloud. At end of reading your letter say, “Thank you” three times.
Using the light from the other person’s candle, light the letter then place in the clay pot you prepared outside, a fireplace or a fire pit. Take some more deep breathes as you allow the energy of the wounds burn up as the letter burns. As you sit watching the letter burn, notice how you are feeling, thinking, and seeing. Sometimes, you might sense, hear or feel something being communicated to you.
If the letter did not burn all the way, hold it up and ask “what are you trying to show me?” Look for clues or signs from which words remain not burnt on letter. Take a few more deep breathes to check in with how you are feeling. Are you still holding any anger or resentment? As you finish burning the letter, say “I do forgive and release you and myself.”
After the letter is completely burned, dissolve their energy around you ***this is very important*** by saying “Thank you and Goodbye” three times. If this forgiveness ceremony s for a loved one add, “I send you to God with love and peace.” To close the forgiveness ceremony, say, “Thank you Angel of mine” 3 times.
I learned this second technique from a Reiki Master I work with called Blu Fries. I have done quite a few and found them to be helpful. If you have any questions about either technique, let me know. The first one is very simple so you could even do both techniques. Sometimes, for relationships with a long history you many have to do the forgiveness ceremony a few times over the course of a year. Let your intuition be your guide. Only ever do one forgiveness ceremony per day though. The energetic shifts can be a lot for your body to process so one a day is the maximum. Share how you released an old relationship below!
Eva Borho, M.A., L.M.T., Writer, Intuitive Healer, Holy Fire Reiki Master Teacher